Class: I'm sure you're aware many celebrities and personalities use Twitter. I have several twitter accounts--one which is highly classified and secret--the one I use with my celeb buds.
Here's a sampling of your sassy blondalicious teacher's DM's:
Class, this is another one of my famous quickie posts. I wanted to add my two cents to the current debate about social networking, the pros and cons. There have been many blog posts written on this subject matter in recent months since the mad growth of Facebook and Twitter.
If you're questioning whether to jump into social networking, here are my hot social networking tips:
1. You don't need to spend hours and hours on end at these locations. Stick your big toe in the social networking waters and explore little by little. Pick one and begin from there. If you don't like it, pick another. There are plenty to choose from, and each has their own advantages and lures. My inner teenager likes Plurk because of the funny icons and the abundance of Second Lifers using this site.
Your blondalicious teacher doesn't let her precious time get sucked by these sites and doesn't respond to EVERY game, suggestion, invitation, response, or seductive trick. Be selective, discerning, and monitor your time.
Of course, your blondalicious teacher floats everywhere, but that's just me: curious and insatiable.
2. Email isn't where the action is these days. Read Write Web posted the latest research about this subject titled, "Social Networking Now More Popular Than Email, Report Finds." So if you really wanna find out what's going on and get off the bench, social networking is the place to hang.
3. You're zero obliged to give your legitimate name. Use a handle as do many wise ones. When you're running around the Big Wide World of Social Networks, handles are far bettah because you'll encounter everything under the sun and then some on these social networks. Once again, be discerning, cautious, and street smart.
Class, I'm here today to speak about Twitter once again. Twitter has become a huge playground as it's become more known to the mainstream. And like all playgrounds, it has attracted it's gamers, bullies, charlatans, and trouble-makers.
I'm going to share some of the *games* currently popular on Twitter. Perhaps you've experienced them as well if you're on Twitter?
I call these games by the catchall name: Cat and Mouse.
Here's five common games I've encountered:
1. Twits follow and unfollow you many times so they will rise to the top of your follow list and be more visible. The strategy is so others will see them and hopefully follow them. So far I've not blocked any of these tricksters because I wanted to experience how many times a day they perform this move. Eventually, I will block them. BUT I'm curious to see which one has the most follow/unfollow score prior to my doing so.
I won't name the winner, but since I've been observing this strange bot or person or weirdo's game, the winner over the course of a week has followed/unfollowed me 12 times!
Their names and details have been turned over to Uncle Vinnie and his fellahs.
2. Another game is to follow and then immediately block you. This type of gamer has a weird avatar and don't attract many followers for the above reason. Their days are numbered for eventually the Twitter Gods will kick them out, or Uncle Vinnie will pay them a call.
3. A hugely popular Twitter game is to mass follow other people, and then as soon as a twit reaches their 2,000 follower limit, they pause. Once they have enough followers to follow them back, they unfollow all or most of the original followers, and once again repeat the process. This is how they build their twitter follower numbers. They're hoping that their unfollow hasn't been noticed, and frequently the unfollow has been overlooked since people are so very busy these days. These twits names have been dutifully noted as well and turned over to Uncle Vinnie who has his ways.
4. The DM marketing game is huge. If you don't respond to their DM marketing, gifts, invitations to visit their blog and appeals to make money with them, these pests unfollow/drop ya within the week. These folks are strictly working the numbers and are a scourge. Their pushy marketing and desperation won't serve them. Maybe in the year 2012, they'll catch on.
5. By far the most annoying game of all is the one where a twit really wants to catch your attention and flirt, and thus, such twits ask the stupidest, lamest questions in a DM or reply. Since I'm a tough, take-no-prisoners blondalicious diva, I do what I do best: sip more Cristal, roll-over in bed, ignore them and LAUGH!
Class, there are *things* you SHOULD know about the online world. Since some of my naughty students are suckered by tricks, cons and scams, I felt it prudent to remind you:
1. If something is too good to be true, then it generally IS! Trust this rule. For example, if someone tries to convince you that you'll make a pile of monies from blogging, don't buy it. This is one of the biggest come-on's newbies fall for. Maybe if you live til your 100's and work your a** off, you might make some chump change.
2. If someone sends you a link, consider the source. Do you know the blogger or person sending you the link, and are they computer savvy? Are they passing something on to you which you'd rather not have? I make it a practice to open very few forwards or links.
4. There's no such thing as a free lunch. If you're aiming for online success, there are two choices of words: Work! OR Delegate. I prefer to delegate. Study the work of Timothy Ferris and read his book "The 4-Hour Workweek". Semi-retire. Life is short. Simplify.
5. And last but not least, don't put all your eggs in one basket! This cliche is apt in regards to your online presence. Spread out. Use the same avatar. Brand yourself. Don't make enemies because the online global community is much smaller than you can even imagine and growing smaller all the time. Think 'three degrees' of separation!
This is going up on "Humor-blogs.com" even though it's not funny. This post was too much work to be funny.
Class, one of my brightest students, Sueblimely, asked about my Top Five Twitter Turn-On's, and thus, I feel obliged to post these turn-on's. Of course, I'd rather be goofing off like always, but it only seems fair to write something positive to balance the negative tone of my last post, my Top Five Twitter Turn-Offs.
So Listen Up my naughty students and learn My Top Five Twitter Turn-On's:
1.My Number One Twitter Turn-On is: Twitter bios. I enjoy an enormous belly laugh every morning when I open my email to see who has followed me. The bios of many Twitter folk are so ridiculous I can't help but laugh. For example (and mind you I'm just making-up *some* of this, but not ALL of it): "I'm a former meth addict, transexual, priest, and bulimic blogger." Many such Twitter colorful characters make my day!
2. My Number Two Twitter Turn-On is: Fabulous New Acquaintances. I would never have met so many wonderful people in such a short period of time were it not for the Twitter introduction. The kindness, sweetness, and courtesies extended to me in replies have been heart-warming. Yeh, yeh...call me a sucka. Whatever. Kindness goes a long way with me. I appreciate everyone on Twitter who takes the time to either Retweet or respond.
3. My Number Three Twitter Turn-On is: Breaking News. News breaks faster on Twitter than on any other online media! If something BIG happens, post a twit--it will go viral. If I should need to post an important photo or break a story orresolve a problem, Twitter is a tool which is invaluable. This makes me feel somewhat *secure* in a strange kind of way. If the world is finally falling apart, those of us on Twitter will rapidly let each other know this valuable information, right?
4. My Number Four Twitter Turn-On is: Assessing The Zeitgeist. For those of you unfamiliar with the meaning of the word 'Zeigeist', here's the definition offered by Wikipedia, "The word zeitgeist describes the intellectual, cultural, ethical and political climate, ambiance and morals of an era or also a trend. In German, the word has more layers of meaning than the English translation, including the fact that Zeitgeist can only be observed for past events."
With millions of people using or reading Twitter, I'm able to tune into the Zeitgeist and see which way the wind is blowing--a handy-dandy tool.
5. My Number Five Twitter Turn-On is: Ease. Twitter is fast and easy, and blogging takes time and energy! With Twitter I'm zero worried if I make sense. I can quickly copy a quote from my files, post it, and then I'm on to my daily carousing. Or I can post one word if I choose to be cryptic. What's not to love about this???
Class: I know you must be wondering where I've been, and I could lie to you and tell you all sorts of b.s., but in truth, I've been studying the ins-and-outs of Twitter.
Since receiving funding last year, Twitter has rapidly grown in popularity, and now more and more followers are crowding my Inbox every day! I'm terrified to open my email now because it's clogged with Twitter followers. The munchkins of the world are now twittering away.
What's going on is a massive mainstream awareness of Twitter, and so non-techies, marketers, hustlers, and freaks of every shape are jumping onboard. Some of these new Twitter folk don't even make a post before they begin adding hundreds of people--a complete no-no in my book!
Listen Up to read My Top Five Twitter Turn-Offs, and puhhlease don't make these mistakes!
1. Do NOT DM me with a link to a freebie 'anything', gift, or course. Don't DM me to plug yourself or your company. GROAN! Unless I know you, I'll delete your DM in a NY City second. Just because I accepted you as a friend and followed you back doesn't give you the right to annoy me and tell me how effing great you are.
2. Do NOT follow me, and then after I've followed you back, you then unfollow me for I'll track your rotten a** down and immediately unfollow you. You'll have accomplished nothing with your stupid little gaming. I have a LONG memory, and I'll block ya. Ya better believe it.
3. Do NOT DM me a message to follow you on Facebook and then NOT follow me on Twitter. What kind of fool are you? Your ego needs a shrink wash, and I'm the gal to crack the whip!
4. Do NOT reply to me with stupid pick-up lines such as, for example, this one: "Tell me all about yourself. I can't wait to get to know you." Barf me out. Like I'm gonna spill the beans to a total stranger in 160 characters.
5. Do NOT leave your face off your profile. I wanna see you. If you've not even taken the time to fill out your profile with a fake face, I'm totally uninterested. Besides, you're probably a scammer.
Actually I have MORE than five turn-offs, but I'll get around to them later. Now I'm sliding into the jacuzzi with my glass of Cristal to completely forget about Twitter turn-offs. I'd rather be turned on!
Class: Thank you for continuing to stalk me & show-up for class, even though I've been taking a long, long sabbatical. You're the best *naughty* students a teacher could ever wish for!
As you've probably figured out by now, I'm enjoying my freedom from the obligation of blogging, even though those dratted microblogs do catch my attention and energy! Twitter, Plurk, and Identi.ca are the places to hang out these days. Facebook has also lured me in to it's diabolical clutches, and every day I find a new friend wanting to befriend me.
I cherish my friends and followers. They're a whole lot more reliable than commenters, especially the lack-luster commenters on this blog. When I reply to someone on Twitter, Plurk, or Facebook, they get right back to me! 'Responsive' rates high in my book!
Here's my tip for today since I'm already here: sign up for Google's alert which notifies you when people are talking about you or what lists you may be on or anything whatsoever referencing you. Google is the sharpest spy in the world. This notification notice comes to your email once a day, and signing-up is one of the best moves I made this year.
I've made a few good moves and many mistakes this year, but what else is new?! I'm still alive and kickin'.
Next year I'll go to the age-old formula of t & a for this blog because that is what sells, right? Hah! I can just see some of your expressions through the computer. Just kidding! *maybe*
How about you? What have you learned about blogging this year? If you don't comment here, I'm sure you'll get back to me on Twitter or Facebook, right?
My library is overflowing with metaphysical books…all of which I’ve read.
I love generous people, and I’m also generous.
Until you spend many years with me, you can’t fathom who I am.
I am single.
My sheets are professionally pressed.
Gifts of healing flow through my hands.
Falling down as a young child and enduring a bad head wound, I became very psychic.
I was adopted as a baby, but my adopted parents kept this a secret from me. I discovered this fact on my own through my psychic gifts which was later confirmed.
Every week I find something to give to someone.
I can smell an agenda or falsity a mile away for I have x-ray vision and sensing.
If someone lies to me, I don’t always call them on their lie. Karma’s a bitch. It catches up with one.
My psychic abilities have been tested by professionals, but I don’t give psychic readings.
Animals gravitate to me as I love them.
I have re-invented myself many times during this lifetime.
This is because I’ve had several near-death experiences which changed me.
My inner child is alive and well and playful.
Though I don’t consume milk products, I make the exception for ice cream cones.
Photography is one of my passions.
Pomposity as displayed by others makes me laugh.
I know enough to ask for help when I need to.
Dancing is much more fun at home with the music turned up.
I am knowledgeable about astrology, numerology, palmistry, dowsing and feng-shui.
If I didn’t live on Maui, I’d live in Ibiza.
I am very good at dealing with invasions of personal space.
I am often called a Muse.
Making people laugh brings me joy.
If I could, I would travel constantly.
I love to capture the essence of a person in portrait photography.
My birth mother was half Cherokee.
Barefoot is how you normally will see me.
If I ever marry again, I will be surprised.
I think our celebrity-obsessed culture is both hilarious and ridiculous. I like to make fun of it.
Mothers that put their children in beauty contests with heavy make-up on freak me out.
Japanese food is my soul-food, and if I start feeling ill, I eat Japanese food, and I immediately feel better.
Great artists, inventors, and humanitarians are whom I admire.
I would like to keep a flat in Paris to visit from time to time.
My best friend is my daughter.
I look a lot younger than my biological age.
De-toxing is something I do daily because of environmental pollution.
My skin has a slight tan. I don’t care for dark tans as they look fake and unhealthy.
Great beauty makes my heart beat faster.
I have met and known many kind people.
Angels are with me all the time.
My non-fiction book about dolphins was published in 1993.
Living in the mountains agrees with me.
When I modeled in my early twenties, I was anorexic.
I love the element of water and love to swim.
People give me mermaid and dolphin gifts a lot.
Collages are something I enjoy creating.
Communing with Nature is necessary for my well-being.
Trust is something you have to earn with me.
Friends tell me I’m a wonderful listener and wise counselor.
I’m a light eater.
A major requirement: I need to be surrounded by beauty.
I prefer quality food, and if I drink, I prefer quality alcohol. Actually, I like the BEST in everything.
Horses, elephants, dogs, dolphins, whales and cats are my favorites.
My goal is to get my MANY blogs to support me. If not all, at least one.
I grew up in a small Indian town in Oklahoma.
The Blog-Blond blog was born out of frustration and the learning curve of blogging innards.
I gained 15 pounds sitting all day & learning how to do html and blog, No more weight gain though. I put a stop to that after I went up a size.
All the details which go into making a GREAT blog drives me just a bit crazy.
Kuanyin isn’t my real name. Duh!
However, I have the greatest of respect for the REAL Kuan Yin.
I take photos every day, and I carry two digital cameras with me everywhere I go.
I have zero desire to be a professional photographer. I’m quite happy being an amateur.
Yes, I live on Maui. Tis true.
I’ve experienced many kinds of love in my life and continue to experience love.
Unconditional love is the best.
I’ve been known to be a bit kinky at times.
I’m working on several books, one of which is a dark humor fiction book based on Maui folk I’ve known.
I love to swing in hammocks.
Watching sunrise and sunset makes me have a happy day.
The world needs to have more balance, more fair-play, and more balanced distribution of the wealth.
We can choose the world in which we live: the mundane, the magical or the miraculous. I prefer the later.
When God handed out mechanical abilities, I was the last person in line.
I am punctual for all appointments and pay my bills on time.
I attract people who are eccentric, different, quirky, odd-ball, rebellious and weird.
Perhaps this is because I am very allowing and non-judgmental.
I like to drive fast cars and boats.
I am an Artisan type according to one of those famous tests.
I prefer silk, bamboo, hemp, cotton and linen fabrics.
World music, ambient, devotional, Celtic, and rhythm and blues music are some of my favorites.
I wanted to move far away from my dysfunctional family, so I married young to do so.
I’ve seen and experienced a lot in my life. It feels as if I’ve already lived multiple lives.
You don’t want to get on my bad side.
I distrust organized religions of all kinds, and thus, I do my own thing and go within.
Candles are a necessity in my life.
It would be easy for me to be a recluse.
My inner life is extremely rich.
I have my fair share of secrets. I don’t trust people who say they don’t have secrets.
I rarely worry.
Sometimes I can be compulsive-obsessive and experience burn-out from my work/passions.
I like a lot of variety.
I can often read other’s minds and thoughts.
I’m lucky.
Yoga and stretching feel great, and I love to stretch and move.
Before there was blogging, I wrote journals. I still write personal journals.
Delicious high-quality goat cheese is one of my power foods.
Class: I'm sure you're aware many celebrities and personalities use Twitter. I have several twitter accounts--one which is highly classified and secret--the one I use with my celeb buds.
Class, this is another one of my famous quickie posts. I wanted to add my two cents to the current debate about social networking, the pros and cons. There have been many blog posts written on this subject matter in recent months since the mad growth of Facebook and Twitter.
Class, I'm here today to speak about Twitter once again. Twitter has become a huge playground as it's become more known to the mainstream. And like all playgrounds, it has attracted it's gamers, bullies, charlatans, and trouble-makers.
Class, there are *things* you SHOULD know about the online world. Since some of my naughty students are suckered by tricks, cons and scams, I felt it prudent to remind you:
Class: Thank you for continuing to stalk me & show-up for class, even though I've been taking a long, long sabbatical. You're the best *naughty* students a teacher could ever wish for!
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